Best Funny Work Quotes : Are you looking for Funny Work Quotes for you ? then you are at the right place. Get the most amazing and work Quotes and sayings for you.
Best 25+ Funny Work Quotes
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.
Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
New year resolutions you can actually keep! Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more. Go shopping more often. Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers. Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits. Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
Some people go to the office in a Hyundai, some in a Ferrari, my office *is* a Boeing 747.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
Actual meanings of various terms: TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on. HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry. INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
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